That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Be still, my beating vagina.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
