We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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