dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
