Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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