Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
