well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize