Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize