i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
