Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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