I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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