I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
