I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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