you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
