No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
