This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
