So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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