And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize