I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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