so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
