so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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