i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's shark week go big or go home
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize