I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
