Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
