who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
