Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
