you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
