I'm really into asian looking animals
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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