This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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