I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
