Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
