I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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