Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
