Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
