I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He shit in the fireplace
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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