Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
