Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
