their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
pray to the hookup gods
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
