I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
