Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize