How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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