official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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