sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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