last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
