My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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