Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
