Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
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