i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
