Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Everclear isn't food dammit
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