she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
