I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
