And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
