This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
