There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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