I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
