I think i peed on brittanys purse
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
