I'm jealous of your bromance
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Farmville is her only friend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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