He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
