I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
